Sunday, July 24, 2005 4:00 pm

Thursday afternoon was uncomfortable--the crowd at the American Center wanted to discuss philosophy and religion. I like it better when they ask about Americans in general--I'd rather not give my view of the meaning of life to strangers, at least not without ample time to prepare. Anton did indeed have three pages of writing for me--he gave a copy to Abby as well. It was, well... uncomfortable. It was fully of transcendental effusions about the state of his soul after experiencing our fervescent language games. Or something. It was sort of transcendent. Actually, it reveals an intelligent and thoughtful mind, so I have mixed feelings. There's no reason for me not to respond to his advances, and yet... surely it's imprudent to throw oneself at American schoolgirls who are virtual strangers. It is the opposite of romantic. I will not email him back. I hope he won't be very upset. I hate making men cry.

He describes my eyes as "cornflower blue". My eyes are green. Why does everyone insist that they are blue? Perhaps they look blue usually--I wish they wouldn't. I know that they are really green when I'm not wearing any blue for them to reflect. This is perhaps more important to me than it ought to be... However, eyes are, I think, symbolic of more important things. Anyway, my eyes are green, green, green!!!

Another man--a Baltika beer salesman--insisted upon giving me all of his phone numbers. As Abby and I were walking to the metro with Anton, the Baltika man ran up to us and gave us a free Baltika. Abby took it; she drinks beer. Anton, half panicked, begged to take us to the theater; when we responded that we needed to study, he offered to be our study "slave". I think men should be illegal.

Abby seriously wanted to study, so I went alone to the internet cafe and to McDonald's. (I know, I know, but nothing else is affordable!) I studied a bit, but was rather more interested in Jane Eyre. I did not stay up too late, though, as I expected to have tests the next morning.

However... Margarita and my literature teacher said that I didn't need to be tested, as they knew how I'd done, and gave me a 5 each. Natalia Vladimirovna said I didn't really need the test, but that I'd feel better taking it. She was right--I missed only two questions, and felt very proud. It was the same test we took for placement; I'm not sure how I did then, but it seemed much easier this time.

At graduation, Dr. Routchkin gave a little speech about how we're different people now, and gave us diplomas and little matrioshki pins.

Abby, Kelly, Chad, Erin, McKenna, and I went to Garbushka. It was air-conditioned! It was cheap, but I was short of money, so I didn't buy anything. After that, we went to Rus Market, where I bought pizza, chips, and Sprite. I baked the pizza in the dorm oven and finished Jane Eyre.

That book has a truly satisfying ending. The heroine ends with a husband and a fortune, and everyone is happy, and no one important is dead. Except Mr. Rochester's mad wife, and she is better off that way. So are Jane and Mr. Rochester. I like Mr. R very much; he reminds me of myself. He's not the sort of character I'd marry, only the sort I'd like to be.

Everyone came to the dorms. Chad bought speakers and we watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith on Erin's laptop. I did not drink, as I hadn't any money to pay for it, but I didn't miss it, of course.

I begged Marisa to lend me her copy of Harry Potter, and she did, but I was very good, and let it lie quietly in my bag until I got home.

Mary, Joe, Sasha, and Abby waited for 20 minutes with me at the bus stop. It was veyr kind of them--Mary had to call her khoziaka and explain why she was late--but I was very grateful. I returned home before 1:00, unmolested.

Needless to say, I got hardly any sleep. I read until 6:00, when I was on page 5:18, or thereabouts, then decided to save the end for morning.

I got up at 10:30.