Sunday, December 02, 2007


There comes an evening
when the world spins, sways, and
and spins, sways and
there comes an evening
and I offer myself up
and I

Once in a while, I hurt and I lose
and I think,
once in a while
it can't hurt
to lose
and I
offer myself up
and I plead with my eyes

and He's not there but
it doesn't matter because even
when He is with me He doesn't hold me enough

but could anyone really hold me enough? and
there are others

And it's like being drunk
and it's like being lost and cold
and for a moment or two I am
weak and innocent

I lift up my eyes and he melts
I turn up my face to him and he sighs
and he reaches for me and pulls me to him
and I rest my head on his shoulder
and I rest my head on his knee

I am adorable,
and I allow him to adore me.
Just this once--
Just this once--
I can be the beloved instead of the lover.
I can be the protected instead of the protector.
I can be

In this moment, it is pleasure
simply to be weak, to give in

I want to give in for
Him, but He's not there and so
do I have to feel guilty when I
lean my head on a shoulder,
lean my head on a knee?

when I allow myself to be held
allow him to pat my head and kiss my forehead and say
there, are you all right?
I assure you that everything is fine

and it makes him feel strong,
for there is no pleasure greater than
the surge of protectiveness that comes
from a trusting expression
and hands clutching at your chest

and so both he and I are warmed for a moment,
with no promises made and no expectations,
and it can't really be wrong because it's clean, pure love
just a touch, just a small flirtation

and we both want to feel liked
and we both like to feel wanted

And it's better than nothing

even if it's not Him.

even if he's married.