São Paulo Doll

When I was six, my favorite stuffed anim
al was named after a cartoon character, 
but I lied and told everyone he had a di
fferent name.
              I used to think that the c
anned recording of rain sounds that puts
 me to sleep was ugly because it is muff
led and repetitive and doesn't quite sou
nd like real rain. I used to think that 
the little doll I bought in São Paulo sh
ouldn't be displayed because it was made
 for tourists. I used to be ashamed of m
y taste in music and movies and games, a
s though the fact that these things are 
cheap, simple, and mass-produced makes t
hem worthless.

But now I know that these things are wonderful,
worth just exactly as much
as the weight of my love for them.
If I like to look at something,
it's beautiful.
If I want it,
it's valuable.
What's most real
is the thing I'm holding in my hand.

I can care for anything that pleases me
for any reason that seems acceptable
in my own eyes.

Threnody

Lecture Rhythms

thea Doption Of
pa'Ticular Languages
as Lingua Francas
is'n'x Ample Of
the Golden Rule:
Those who Have the Gold
Make the Rules.

Sentimental Boys

Ugh! Boys are so sentimen
tal with their badly-hidde
n love of roses and candle
s and firelight and simile
s and I hate it hate their
idealized expectation hat
e the pressure they put on
themselves hate the press
ure they put on me so I ca
nnot laugh cannot laugh at
them because their hearts
are like soggy lukewarm o
atmealy mush too tender to
o weak for confidence and
I disdain them and their r
idiculous need for materia
l toys these candles these
roses are nothing but pro
ps that they need because
they don’t have real feeli
ngs and they want to have
feelings and they lie and
say that they do it for wo
men but I don’t need secre
ts and moonbeams and endea
rments to cover up the fac
t that I have no passion;
lying to ourselves may be
necessary but let’s not wa
ste the money for chocolat
es, shall we?