Sonnet LXIV

And it's the championship match when I
first realize how much I love this game,
but I have never once been forced to try
with all my heart before for their acclaim

I think I want to maybe win. The shame
would overwhelm me if I lost: I knew,
I know, I lose. And mine is all the blame
I can create; but what is there to do?

And how to try? The methods and the rules--
what are they? How to care? I know I'm cold
Is this what losers feel like? (feel like fools)
If I don't give my everything as told--

I splutter at this incoherent win
I'm not sure I'm ready to give in

Win

This morning, I just kept going,
churning the ink
and pressing the sheets of paper,
the power in me for knowing
secrets, I think;
this morning, I just kept going,
churning the ink,
and wild-running joy kept growing,
just like a drink
of some kind of godly vapor;
this morning, I just kept going,
churning the ink
and pressing the sheets of paper.

For Dulce

Virelai

Every moment of my fate
works on me with shame and hate:
this because I did not wait
but accepted second best,
and I hate and thank the trait
that rules of late,
sensible, resigned, unblessed,
that prevents with rapid rate
of verbal freight
all I want at my behest--
and I wanted her to bait
fates and fairies as my mate.
Now I am no longer great,
which I know and have confessed.
Every moment of my fate
works on me with shame and hate:
this because I did not wait
but accepted second best.


Rondeau

Everyone loves to love her;
everyone aims,
frantic, for her attention.
Everyone tries to shove her
into his games--
everyone loves to love her.
Everyone aims
to put themselves above her,
action that names
any I wouldn't mention.
Everyone loves to love her;
everyone aims,
frantic, for her attention.


Ballade

Everyone knows the blood and heat that tease
under the skin that sheathes her frozen bones.
Everyone knows that I would like to seize
everything my imagined darling owns--
but I would never risk her pouts and moans.
Everyone knows how hard I work to please,
answering strictness with a cheerful fist.
None of my labors can repay my loans;
everyone knows that she does not exist.

Sonnet LXIII: Turning Point

We're living in a time of rapid change,
a moment of which we are unaware.
To Grandma, polio would not be strange;
my children will have laser vision care.
And I have seen computers go from things
that awe to things that dangle from the wrist.
Whole languages are changing. Whores and kings
have changed; if we're behind, then we'll be missed.
I could, tomorrow, go to Kathmandu,
or watch, right now, TV from Singapore.
The world is shrinking, not so small that you
are caged just yet, but more and more and more.
I know now how it must have felt to be
with Alexander toward the Outer Sea.

Villanelle

her leg is
shaking and um
and you just
get nervous
watching and numb
and all your
pieces just thrum
in the dust
her leg is
shaking and um
you wonder
is she this dumb
and you must
get nervous
watching and numb
break through the
language and drum
with a thrust
her leg is
shaking and um
you wonder
where is she from
with a gust
get nervous
watching and numb
and ask her
why did you come
don't you trust
her leg is
shaking and um
get nervous
watching and numb