Chōka

A content spirit
results from a focused mind--
so wisdom tells us.
She who experiences
only what is there
during the exact moment
of her consciousness
will conquer unhappiness.
But I do not know
how to rein in my own mind.
Shame from long ago
hovering over my head,
very visible,
like Damocles's weapon,
I dangle above
the dark, bottomless future.
Without a firm stance,
I rush ahead to the goal
until it is reached,
and then I scramble to find
a new direction.
Could I only float instead,
I might learn to breathe again.