Thursday, April 02, 2015


Declare you will allow it;
declare you will permit me:
I will give you my cattle,
god of my health, O Young Bull;
their blood will run down the stones
that form the path before you,
feeding your human children
and giving them nourishment.
I will lay at your white feet 
the whole of my righteousness
and know it is not enough
and wonder, Will it please you?
I offer my crippled self,
for I know what delights you:
not burnt incense or poured wine,
but my suffering and strength,
though if you desired incense,
I would certainly give it.
My mouth praises you to all,
because you open my mouth.
My tongue sings of your goodness,
because you burn it with fire.
Those who forsook you will hear 
and return to you in tears,
for I will teach the guilty
the rightness of your purpose.

You are complete in yourself;
You give, yet you lose nothing.
Build me up on a high hill
like the walls of your city.
Let me watch over the whole
of your land and your people.
Put me where I can succeed,
and then praise me; smile at me;
do not overlook the heart
you have broken and rebuilt.

From the very beginning,
from the hour of conception,
I was unnecessary;
I was convicted of it.
Strengthen my faltering back
with your unyielding spirit.
Teach obedience to me;
brand it on my viscera.
Pierce and divide my torso
so the darkness can escape;
with your agonizing blade,
burn clean the insides of me.
Look away from my failure,
from my futile existence,
and pretend you do not see
what I have done and not done.
Compel with your words the past,
bid with your will the future
never to happen for me
and never to have happened.
Wash the unwashable stains;
purge me with hyssop and salt.
Ransom me from my bloodguilt;
unchain me, god of my health.

Show me your hidden wisdom;
teach me the truth that you love.
Offer to me the safety
of sure affiliation.
Direct the bones that you broke
to run and climb, to rejoice.
Command me to hear gladness,
for as you will, I will do.
Create me in your image
and teach me to dwell in peace;
let me once more feel the joy
as when I first heard your voice:
joy shrouding my nose and mouth,
stealing breath from my body,
in the glaring white sunrise
that was your hand reaching down.

On the morning you felled me,
you offered to help me up;
on the day you destroyed me,
you shaped me to your liking.
Whether my eyes are blinded –
what does that matter to me?
Whether you are perfection –
does something like that matter?
If you say that I am clean,
I will surely believe it,
for your word only is right,
and yours is the only law.
You chose me to answer you,
and I have made you my lord.
Thus, if you are worthy
and if you are not worthy,
I will place my confidence
fully in your worthiness –
so be worthy of my faith.
Grow strong on my confidence.
Let my fortitude feed you,
my idol, god of my health.
Bid me forget my sorrow,
and I will win you Heaven;
command me to feel gladness,
and I will surely obey.

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